Let's try this again...

Although I'm tempted to delete my original blog postings (or change the dates), so it would appear as if I'm just starting, I'm resisting that urge, because I want to keep it real.  In the words of my spiritual director, we speak truth here.

And so it is that I'm going to try this again - and hope I don't get 'blogged' down. :-)  (warning: I have a very dry sense of humor; just sayin', in case you don't have an uncanny knack for the obvious.)

Back to being real... As a mom of four with three part-time jobs (Musikgarten teacher, babysitting, and independent contract for teaching music to an early years play group for children who are deaf or hard-of-hearing), I'm not sure why I'm even giving the blogging thing a go.  As if I need one more thing to distract me from all the other stuff I'm not getting done around here. :-)  However, offering myself some grace and mercy, I'd say that sometimes I have something I want to express, and I think it would be nice to think that maybe, just maybe, it might bless someone else.  Lord willing.

Gratitude

I don't believe there are coincidences.  I believe things happen for a reason, although the reason may not be revealed to me for years.

In 1996 when our first child was born - beautiful baby boy (no prejudice here!) with strawberry blonde hair.  While he had some stress during delivery and had to be intubated to start his breathing, he rebounded beautifully and as was well.  In the hospital in our state, they do a hearing test on newborns.  They tested him twice in the hospital, and they explained that it's common for newborns to be tested twice, as many times there in fluid in their ears.

After the test, nothing was really said, so we went home and all was well.  Sometime during that first week as I began to sort through the myriad of papers from the hospital, I noticed a yellow paper tucked in a pocket of the diaper bag.  The paper explained that our child had failed the hearing test twice and would need additional testing.  Whoa.  Nonetheless when I called for an appointment they continued to say this is normal, and this other test is more thorough.  In the meantime, we'd watch him like hawks to see if he startled when something was dropped, or if he'd respond to the sound of his voice.

At the age of two months, we learned our son had a mild to moderate hearing loss and would benefit greatly from hearing aids.  We did some grieving, and my husband suggested we let our son's hair grow over his ears to cover the aids that were slightly larger then his tiny infant ears.  I wasn't too fond of that idea, but my husband hadn't been around anyone who wore hearing aids or had any special needs, really, unless it was in the hallway at school.

Here's were the 'there are no coincidences' premise holds true for me:
For instance, as I was growing up in a tiny rural town - Plains, Montana, where the population tends to hover around 1000, a family moved into town when I was in first grade.  This family had six children, and the youngest two were girls who were about my age.  We were in Brownies together, softball (when we were a little older), and as is typical in a small town, we were involved in after school activities.

The youngest daughter, we'll call her Elle, was hard-of-hearing, and actually almost deaf in one ear, so she wore hearing aids.  We never really thought anything about it - she was just one of us, although she preferred country music over pop music (we only received a couple of stations in that area!) because she could understand the words better. :-)  We graduated high school - she was very successful academically and socially, and we went our separate ways off to college, but because her oldest sister had married my older brother, it's been easy to keep in contact.  We're practically family, after all!

Because of my experience with Elle, I felt that the hearing loss was a disadvantage, not a disability.  I had seen how successful that Elle has been academically (she earned her master's degree!) and socially, and I was grateful our son would receive hearing aids as an infant, because the audiologist explained that children with his type of hearing loss who begin wearing hearing aids before the age of six months usually have good speech articulation.  Elle didn't receive hearing aids until kindergarten or first grade, so I was excited that our son would get them so young! 

That experience from 22 years prior to the birth of my first child, helped me to embrace our circumstances more easily, with hope and a positive attitude.  Our son, now 14, is an avid and serious musician who plays three instruments extremely well (piano, flute and saxophone), does well in school, and is just an ordinary teenager.

I'm grateful for those coincidences that have occurred in my life that prepare me for what life holds for me.  What coincidences can you relate to that have prepared you for unexpected circumstances?

Friends for Weight Loss

Have you heard about Friends for Weight Loss?  When I began researching the new Weight Watcher's program, I followed a link to a blog called Danica's Daily, which had a lot of recipes and inspiration regarding the new PointsPlus program.  Danica also started a new blog, Friends for Weight Loss.  It's so nice to have suggestions for recipes that use real food and allow me to cook healthy meals for the entire family.  *whispers* During my previous attempts at weight loss, I usually made something for me, and something else for the rest of the family...I know it sounds impractical, but it was easier than trying to do the calculations for portions, points, etc., as far I was concerned.

So, what's more exciting than find a free community of like-minded friends?  A giveaway!  Click here for more information.

As for me, I'm still feeling great.  I wasn't able to schedule a formal workout yesterday, but I did walk over 10,000 steps, which is my default "get the ol' body movin'" goal.  Today I completed week 5, day 2 of the C25k program and a 10 minute walk this morning.  I think my body is recovering before the full three minutes of walking, but I've just decided to follow the plan, although I am pleased to say I was able to jog a little longer than the final five minutes, so I did!  I'm happy to report that's an improvement over my 'run' two days ago (week 5, day 1).  As my Dad says, "the benefits of physical exercise are mind boggling."  Amen, Dad!

I feel good!

I'd started the couch to 5k program back in November, and I've certainly made good progress in my fitness, endurance and ability to even jog!  You see, I'm not much of a jogger.  I liked to play games - volleyball, racquetball, basketball...or go on hikes, ride bikes, work out on an elliptical machine (or at least I did when I had a gym membership), but I didn't enjoy jogging.  It's so much work, and it's hard on my body.  However, I'd never approached jogging in bite-sized chunks, despite experiencing my Dad's success utilizing a '30-second jog, 30-second walk' approach, bacj when I was in my early teens.  He went on to run a number of 10k races, and continues to jog even into his 70s.

I guess I'm a slow learner.  I think I just figured I was better off - in better shape, younger, etc., than my Dad was when he started running.  After all, he was a long haul truck driver who sat behind the wheel most of the day.

Ahhh, humble pie.  Now I'm in my mid-40s, a mother of four children, and while I'm always busy, I rarely make the time for exercise for me, unless it was in the wee hours of the morning. 

Back to couch to 5k!  I managed to improve my running, but the weight wasn't moving.  Of course, neither were my efforts to improve my nutrition.  Can you say chocolate?  Daily?  Multiple times each day??? 

So, I managed to eat conservatively and lose four or five pounds (from May - Dec.!).  Nothin' to write home about but better than gaining.  Well, with the new year, I decided it was time to be mindful of my choices.  After the birth of my third child, I lost weight with Weight Watchers - I bought the materials and did it on my own.  I tried to do the same thing after kiddo number four, but I never really got serious.  Until now...

Fast forward to January 6th, 2001. I went to a Weight Watcher's meeting and bought the materials.  They have a new program, and it's really, really good.  Fruit is now zero PointsPlus.  Free.  Since I'm not a big raw veggie eater (unless there's ranch or hummus), this is pivotal for me.  If I get hungry, I can grab a banana, clementines or grapes guilt-free.  If I need some protein, bananas w/ peanut butter is fave for me.  Or cheese.  Did I mention I love cheese?  Anyway, I made a careful, conscience, mindful decision to really work the program, and I lost five pounds in a week. Yep.  FIVE pounds.  Now, I'm on the tall side and my BMI is was 29.6, and I worked out four times last week, marched in place while folding laundry or cooking, did a yoga DVD, etc.  Basically I really tried to increase my activity level.  Nonetheless, I feel proud.  It feels weird to say that, but I'm going to embrace it.  I did the work.  I feel good, and I am proud.

Gratitude

Several things have happened of late that really touched me...

History: Sometime mid-Fall, 14 yr. old son takes dog for a walk & listens to his iPod.  Son leaves iPod in sweatshirt pocket.  Washing machine.  Dryer.  Ugh.  I scour the internet for possible ways to save the iPod.  Dries iPod in rice bowl for a couple of weeks little while.  iPod plays music but backlight doesn't work, and it won't hold a charge. 

I finally took my son to the Apple store in town.  Actually, we tried to contact Apple service online, but when no one in the family could read the super tiny serial number, even with my reading glasses on(!), so we opted to search for a store in town.  Voila!  So we went to the store, in hopes of returning the iPod for repair, at son's expense.  Busy store.  Four kids.  Close to nap for 3 yr. old.  Two hour wait for service.  Hmmmm.  Made an appt. for the next morning!  Yeah!  Arrived a little early, and only had three kids.  Aside:  The 5 yr. old begged opted to accompany his Dad to doctor appointment to watch Dad get his cast removed.  Dad couldn't come up with a good reason not to take him agreed it'd be nice to have one-to-one time. 

Back at the Apple store, we were taken back to the repair/service area right away.  We explained the circumstances (our fault, just want to send in for repair, etc.), but the Apple store employee kindly explained it was physical damage, not covered under warranty, and it was irreparable.  14 yr. old and I were both crushed disappointed.  I was pretty sure he didn't want to cough up money for a new iPod, and I knew this was a difficult but valuable lesson for all involved.  The Apple store employee asked us to wait for a moment, so we obliged, still subdued.  I started to consider inquiring about used iPods.  The gentleman returned and reiterated the unit was irreparable, but that Apple wanted us to have a working unit for the holidays.  I was puzzled and wondering if there was going to be a sales pitch...next thing I know begins checking his inventory.  They have one in stock.  Same model.  Same color.  Same everything.  Then the kicker...they gave it to us at no charge.  Yep.  For FREE.  My eyes welled up.  And over.  Yes, tears dripped right past my eyelashes.  My 11 yr. old daughter caught my eyes.  Her eyes began to blur.  My 14 yr. old's son's face beamed and his eyes welled up, too, although there was no obvious leakage. :-) 

We felt so very blessed.  It colored our whole Christmas break with a spirit of gratitude, thanksgiving and generosity.  It may have been a drop-in-the-bucket for Apple to give us a 5th generation iPod Nano, but it was a significant gift to us.

When we received the customer survey we filled it out promptly and with glowing praise.  And while 'I'm a PC', I'm certainly excited to spread the word about the superior customer service we received from Apple.

Balance - does it exist?

I used to think it was important to balance a career, marriage, motherhood, etc.  I've learned that I don't really attain balance in any the typical sense of the word.  But as I journey through life, I have learned to accept resign myself to embrace the season I'm in...  I'm not sure I'll ever have my house as clean as my mom did, nor will I be the room mom in my children's classrooms - although I'm always willing to help.  I don't want to grow my part-time business because it's more important to me to be involved with my children and family right now.  So, for me, that's balance.  Actually, I don't care about balance - I'm more interested in being the best I can be.  At this moment.  Until the next moment.  But if I'm content (and have prayerfully discern this phase), and my family is loved and not tearing one another to pieces happy, then that works for me.

What does balance mean to you?

It's Not Always Christmas As Usual...

I was reading a blog today - Life as Mom, and I found this post to be of particular interest.  I'm pretty familiar with loss.  When I was 29 and newly pregnant with our first child, my mom lost a battle with cancer and went home to the Lord.  Five years later, my oldest brother died suddenly at age 45.  He'd never even met my son.  Two years later, my other brother died at age 46.   I'm grateful that we did make tive to travel and visit each other regularly - or as regularly as you can living 1000 miles away.

So, for me, there've been many years where things weren't just 'business as usual.'  Although, I must admit, I did my best to pretend everything was fine.  After all - their suffering is over, and they're dancing with Jesus.  And yes, I believe that whole-heartedly, but I didn't allow myself to grieve properly...to miss them openly...to cry freely when the moment struck me...or to reach out to friends.  I just moved forward - onward.

I would like to think I'm wiser now and have experienced more profound loss, and even now I'm praying for my dear step mom as she battles cancer (Aside: The Lord brought my Dad a wonderful new wife/best friend shortly after Mom went to Heaven) . She's the only (maternal) grandmother my kids have known, and she's been a wonderful example of motherhood to me.  But this time, I'm able to cope in a more emotionally mature way...to do a better job of sharing my feelings with my family and friends (or at least that's the plan).  Although, I still don't cry at all, publicly, freely, I at least try to 'squish it down' less. :-)  Hey, we're always learning, right?  And so I continue to journey onward...